HOLY COW!!

Ok, so the reality has started to set in. I am officially scared!! I can't sleep anymore and all I think about is the c-section. Not necessarily the c-section, but the surgery part. I am really excited to meet her, so I am not worried about the c-section, however, I have never had surgery before (knock on wood) so the part about being cut wide open freaks me out. Joe assures me I will be fine and that he will be there for me. He assures me that he will double check before they sew me back up that they have put all my important parts back in me, and he assures me that he will not leave me behind on the table. But.....there is going to be a part before the surgery where they take me into the OR and get me all prepared where he is not there with me and that is the part that make me scared and nervous.

I had Spring Break last week and got to spend the whole week at home with him (when he was not out working). To my surprise we had a great week and enjoyed watching The Baby Story 4 times a day! He even enjoyed it. But it made the whole thing more real to both of us. I lay awake at night and just think about the walk to the OR, my tossing and turning then wakes him up and so we have late night chats. But no matter how much he tries to calm me down I am still freaking out quietly inside.

Another worry I have: Buster. I am not worried that he will not be taken care of, I know that Tommy will do a great job house/dog sitting. But I worry that Buster will think that we have abandoned him. I know, I know: He is just a dog. But for 3 years now he has been my son...a VERY spoiled son, but my only child. He is used to getting all my attention and love. I just worry how he is going to feel when we come home after 3-4 day with a baby!!

I know everything will be fine and Buster will be fine....I just wanted/needed to vent.....only 2 more days!